Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Maybe it was a sense of entitlement

Why did Sonya financially abuse her mother Carol?

Well she did care for her mother for 10 months and caring for someone with the various ailments along with mobility issues is hard... and probably should be left to the professionals. Sonya was ill suited for the task. To be fair her brother also stinks when it comes to handling finances and we assumed she was just as bad regarding her mother's finances. No, when we finally saw the bank statements, this wasn't a matter of being disorganized or failing to seek out the best price for services (her brother's problem). No this was downright theft. Beyond the theft, she also brought the chaos of her life (the pot smoking, the child custody, the fornication, etc) into her mother's life which probably undermined her health.

As I mentioned, caring for someone is hard and Sonya, with her various faults, was ill suited for the job. Once she realized how hard caring for Carol was she might have had it in her head that she earned or deserved her mother's money. One story she has said is that she (Sonya) sacrificed her career to care for her mother. As far as I can tell, Sonya has never had a stable job. She is a licensed cosmetologist, but doesn't seem to stay at one salon or place for more than a year, if that. She said that she wanted to get her business off the ground so she could support her mother. That's the story. That's the myth. Instead it was an excuse to take more money out of her mother's retirement to pursue a pipe dream. I have a cousin ( a licensed barber) who started in the back room of his rented house doing hair and now (despite being out of it for a couple of years due to an accident) has his own shop in his own building. Sonya seemed to me more talk than real work and action.

So in her head she thought she gave up this great career to be nursemaid. She didn't have to. She could have let her mother stay in the assisted living place ( or find a cheaper one) and visit her since they lived in the same city of San Jose, CA. But no, she couldn't leave well enough alone. She could not let her mother live in peace among other old people.

So what did her mother get for her money? Well she got a rental that was a significant upgrade for her daughter and the house was nicer than the house Carol once owned. She got about six months of what we can only guess as good quality time with her daughter and granddaughter. Then it went downhill. Sonya brought in a live in boyfriend. Sonya scared away the visiting nurse by throwing her 15 year old son, Mike 1, across the room (she has anger management issues). The nurse reported this to Child Protective Services. as she is required to do so when witnessing any sort of abuse. The nurse did not return citing fear. Sometime in late 2015 Carol was on the phone with her son, my husband, Mike and asked to get out of there. In December 2015, Carol extracted herself from the house, and Adult Protective Services got involved. I'll talk about the continued financial elder abuse after Carol and Sonya we no longer living together, but let me get through August-Decemeber 2015 statements first.

So now Carol is dead. Her ashes sit on my bookshelf in a nice wood box. Sonya won't talk to me and has asked her brother not to involve me. Fine. However, Mike did mention that she believes she is entitled to whatever is left. I've reminded him she already stole her inheritance.  She'll be getting about $4000 from CalSTers, her half of the death benefit, as she was named as a beneficiary, and her brother sent her a scan of the paperwork he got from CalSTers. (Me: Facepalm... Mike is too nice of a nice guy) 

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