Why

Why?

This is not about why Sonya N. Henry did what she did. Only the Lord above can figure that mystery out. I have my theories, but for now, let's table that.

Why did you make this blog?

Because I was frustrated in watching my husband, the man I love suffer and flounder in trying to clean up the mess his sister made regarding their mother's care. My husband is loving, and kind to a fault, but he's not that great when it comes to bureaucracies and finance. Actually, he sucks at that. I handle that in our family. But as the in-law, and as several people from the bureaucracies have told me, I have no business in the matter. So I couldn't do squat but observe the man I love get tasked with something he was woefully unskilled and unsuited for and I could not be his helpmate in this matter that impacted both of us.

Like the he thief who breaks the car window for the loose change in the console will never appreciate the harm done to the car owner, Sonya will never truly appreciate the strain this saga put on our family. We put our adoption plans on hold. We had to get marital counseling. I found it hard to respect my husband when he was placed in situation after situation where he was set up to fail over and over again. And that was the harm done to us, 3000 miles away. I cannot fathom the emotional (I know the financial) harm she inflicted on her mother Carole.

Besides being someplace to vent and semi-organize my thoughts I hope that maybe someone else will find this blog informative and helpful as they struggle with eldercare issues and elder care abuse in families.

Why do you hate your sister in law?

 I don't hate her. I hate the destruction she has wrought. She is dangerous. She doesn't wield a gun or has killed anyone (that I know of) but she has hurt others and sadly I don't think she is aware how damaging she's been and can be. I feel badly for her kids, who will carry the scars of her decisions on them forever, unless they get some really good counseling. Children being stuck in the middle of a fight between their parents is a hell I would not wish upon any kid. Long before she abused her mother, she hurt her step mother and her step mother's daughter. After her father died, crying fear of being homeless she lived with her stepmother Suzie. Suzie is a caring woman but Sonya took advantage of the elderly woman. Sonya got her involved in the drama between her and her ex Rocci. Suzie lived in the house given to her by her father. Don, her dead husband and Sonya's father had no real claim on it. Things were so bad, Suzie sold the San Jose house and moved to Florida to be with her daughter.

Since she is a destructive force, it is my job to protect the heart of my husband. I have advised my husband to do things that would not set himself up to get worked up and upset in encounters with his sister. She may have forgotten the times she was yelling over the phone at him for long stretches of time, but I haven't.