Thursday, December 14, 2017

Sonya Henry stole her momma's money

This blog is mainly a release for me.

But you know, let's let it all hang out today. I'm alone with a baby, who has been needed to be entertained all friggin day and the spouse is dealing with his mom's health crisis de jure.

So yesterday, Sonya, the sister that stole/ embezzled/ mismanaged her mother's retirement making the poor woman, poor, contacts her brother, my DH, via Facebook. It is a long and very apologetic (not apologizing for anything in particular mind you) message about how she misses her mom, yadda, yadda, yadda. Now my dear husband claims to never use facebook and swears that he's getting off Facebook because of this that and whatever, so I'm the one updating his page, so I see the message she sent.

His family is wading in denial. He knows she stole money including 10K that she used to pay child support. I mentioned it to their mother, but it seemed to barely register. She doesn't know why anyone would be angry with her. I've been told not to accuse her of anything by my husband.

So I responded to her message, explained that her brother isn't the one on Facebook and I'll pass the message on to him. Then she asked for his phone number. I still have vivid memories of Sonya screaming on the phone at my DH while we were shopping in IKEA. She has anger issues. We think she may be bipolar. So I truthfully wrote that his number has been the same. Then I followed up with "give him some time". That set her off. A few hours later there is this nasty message about how it is her right to have her mother's contact info.

I'm gonna have to bring this up again in confession, because I'm getting a perverse kick out of playing with her. My DH, after I read him his sister's nastygrams, wants nothing to do with her. We've already determined the woman is toxic. She made it so bad their stepmother had to sell her house and run away to Florida. DH is not going to unleash this mentally ill woman on his mother, especially after their mom's latest health scare. Against my DH wishes I'll point out what exactly she has done, as kindly as possible.... in the name of Jesus.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Conservatorship is too hard

So my spouse is on the other side of the country to retrieve his mother and bring her to the East Coast to live near us. The place is no Riderwood, but it is better than where she is now. Riderwood is a $7K plus a month retirement home, it is beautiful and we know a couple who live there. Where mom is going is 1/2 the price and a little shabbier, older, and smaller.

After attempting to care for his mother long distance for a little over a year, we decided to engage in the nuclear option of bringing her closer to us because the power of conservatorship is mixed and sometimes a weakness.

In order to legally take her out of California we had to go through the courts. If it weren't for the conservatorship we would have had her on a plane earlier. Yes, you have to ask the state permission to relocate your relative if you are their conservator.

The other problem was that some places did not really acknowledge the conservatorship, like Medicare and Social Security. The conservatorship was issued by the state, Medicare and SS are federal programs and they have their own forms, which seem to require an elderly person to sign....WTF?

The bank also was no help. Supposedly my husband was made temporary conservator in May but could not stop his sister from continuing to drain their mother's accounts, including $20K that we were hoping to use to move her to better care facilities. The bank dragged their feet, and she had enough time to inflict more damage. Why? Because he had to spend time proving to the bank that he had the legal authority to do so.

The pension also dragged on too.

Conservatorship is not a magic wand.