Lies, lies and more lies- Hawaii trip

So in January 2016, Sonya went to Hawaii and below is the text exchange she had with her brother Mike about it.

016-01-11 21:04:56			How are you doing? What is it like not having mom in the house?
			->	2016-01-13 13:49:30	Hi it's been fine I actually took advantage of my week with no one to care for and took a fight to Hawaii where I came to my friends house where I am sta
			->	2016-01-13 13:49:31	ying I'll be returning on Saturday.. This trip has cost in total 600.00
			->	2016-01-13 13:49:43	Free food and lodging ..
			<-	2016-01-13 15:21:16			That's great. You really deserve that rest and relaxation. Have a great time. Love , Mike
			->	2016-01-13 15:55:09	Thanks so much! I said wait a minute N Kim and Mike1 are going to dads.... Mom's in her new place... KAY back at school...??!? You mean I will be by m
			->	2016-01-13 15:55:10	yself for a whole week??!!? I had to seize the moment!
			->	2016-01-19 22:57:39	Hi mike I'm home and went to visit mom and she's crying that she's miserable there... And wants to come home I think .. But where she is is affordable an
			->	2016-01-19 22:57:40	d the woman is very nice... Mom is complaining of being bored and neglected.. Same thing she complained of at home with us
			->	2016-01-19 22:58:10	I believe it's not the people and the places... It's her situation, she's unhappy with.
			->	2016-01-19 23:01:41	She being very difficult causing commotions and stirring up stuff... Crying for attention like a child.. She acts as if she's got some medical problem an
			->	2016-01-19 23:01:42	d goes to ER and nothing is wrong.. It's more her mental state. She complains of being abused as in neglect not physical, but it's simply not true..

However the bank statements say something different. However we didn't get the bank statements until after Mike became their mother's conservator, because of the financial eldercare abuse by Sonya. And I didn't notice the Hawaii expenses, until preparing the material for posting on this blog.
On January 13th she wrote -"Hi it's been fine I actually took advantage of my week with no one to care for and took a fight to Hawaii where I came to my friends house where I am staying I'll be returning on Saturday.. This trip has cost in total 600.00. Free food and lodging .." Well free for Sonya because she was using her mother's money. Maybe the token amount she was putting in was the $600. I don't know. 
Sonya, goes on a vacation to Hawaii while Carol was stuck in a cheap miserable place with no activities. It was just a place to sit and watch TV and wait to die, which I guess was what Sonya was waiting for. Sonya doesn't get that neglect IS ABUSE, in her January 19, 2016 text to her brother.

February 2016- Sonya only contributed a token amount

So take a look at the end of the February statement.

In the short month of February Sonya managed to make 139 withdrawals and only one deposit. The withdrawals totaled up to $15,288.90, which the measly $663.00 that was contributed to the account, does not even begin to cover.

Here's a little something that is helpful to know. Carol (the mother and the victim of eldercare abuse by Sonya) has a very generous teacher's pension from CalSTRS, that was about $3k a month. Back on December 28, 2015, Sonya, for whatever reason, closed the account that CalSTRS was depositing funds into, moved the roughly $60K that was in there from Carol's retirement fund into a new account. CalSTRS takes at least one whole month to make direct deposit changes. So this month, as well as January and March, allow us to see what measly token amounts Sonya was depositing into her mother's account. For February it was about 4% of what was spent. As far as I could tell there was one charge and one check that actually went to the care of Carol. There was a February 3rd payment to Kaiser, Carol's health care provider/insurance for $345.00 (please go back to the February 2016 post, page 1) and check #104 for $3300 that was the monthly rent for Kirkwood Villa the elderly boarding house where Kaiser dumped Carol because she could not return to the 3 bedroom house she and Sonya were renting. Check #102 for $3850 was covering the rent for that house.

Sonya had told her brother Mike that she was supporting their mother with her work. Here we see it was all lies. This was barely a fig leaf of support.

February 2016

I liked the Hawaii post, where I focused on particular things in the January 2016 statement, so I will do the same thing here. I will post February 2016's statement excerpts, then have some extra posts looking at particular aspects of that statement. So if someone wants to look at a particular page they can click on the image and a larger, readable image should pop up.

So if you're just joining Financial Eldercare Abuse Observed, welcome. I'm your hostess Mari, the wife of Mike, who is the son of Carol/Carole who was a victim of financial elder abuse at the hands of her daughter, Sonya. Sonya was the POA (Power of Attorney) for her mother and in a little over a year managed to squander Carol's retirement fund. This blog is here to document this abuse, provide an outlet for my frustration with trying to clean up the mess Sonya made, and hopefully inform others who are going through the same thing with their family members.  

Sonya is in deep, deep denial about what she did. Like any family member accused of abuse of another family member they will deny it and as Sonya did with her brother Michael (Mike), try to gaslight their victims and other family members.

Anyway, here are February's statement pages.

 

Lies, lies all lies- Sonya lied to her brother about what was going on

So I dug up some text messages we managed to pull off Mike's phone.
I have changed some information to protect other's privacy. All changes are in Bold .
I'll come back to this later in another post to take apart the lies Sonya, who squandered her mother's retirement fund. Sorry for the format this is in.

2015-12-16 13:29:07	Hello Michael it's your sister, was wondering if you could please give me your mailing address again?
			->	2015-12-16 13:30:46	And I need your email address
			<-	2015-12-16 13:31:11			Office 3{SNIP}, MD (SNIP)
			->	2015-12-16 13:32:01	Ok this will be a good address to send your packages?
			<-	2015-12-16 13:32:10			HOW are things going? I 'll call tonight. Love, Mike
			->	2015-12-16 13:32:10	And your email address
			->	2015-12-16 13:32:21	Pretty good
			->	2015-12-16 13:32:31	Can I please have your email address
			<-	2015-12-16 13:32:38			m{SNIP}edu
			->	2015-12-16 13:33:49	Thank you
			<-	2015-12-27 22:03:38			Merry Christmas. Love, Mike and Mari.
			->	2015-12-28 21:31:43	Sorry we have been difficult to get a hold of. Merry Christmas... Everyone was good and had a nice xmas, mom had fun and got some knitting supplies and c
			->	2015-12-28 21:31:44	rafts to paint a bird chime, a bird house, it's raw wool that you paint.. The kids made out pretty good.. And of course received the traditional kisses a
			->	2015-12-28 21:31:45	nd beef jersey
			->	2015-12-28 21:34:13	I have made several attempts to mail the photo album out to you, but every time I go I have an issue the last time I was there for an hour looking hi and
			->	2015-12-28 21:34:15	lo for the specific pic you wanted which was you and SNIP and I can't find it anywhere... I'm wondering if it happens to be in any of that photo stuff
			->	2015-12-28 21:34:15	I sent you home with last time you were down in March
			->	2015-12-28 21:39:20	I also took mom to buy you and Marie a present and that went missin
			->	2015-12-28 21:39:21	g, come to find someone thought was there's and wore and threw in w
			->	2015-12-28 21:39:22	ash ... Went back to the store and gone. Didn't send every time bec
			->	2015-12-28 21:39:23	ause items were missing in the shipment. so hope you don't mind the
			->	2015-12-28 21:39:24	delay and the washed item, your photo album with the missing pic😔
			->	2015-12-28 21:39:25	sorry again.
			->	2015-12-28 21:41:00	Did you receive the amazing electronic by way of email card? It was sent to your email, from the kids and I?
			<-	2015-12-31 15:48:12			Do you know why mom is in the ER. Love, Mike
			<-	2015-12-31 16:33:30			Mom has an appointment on Monday (January 4) at 8:30 am at the Kaiser psychiatry office 19000 Homestead Rd, 2nd floor. Love, Mike
			<-	2015-12-31 16:36:15			You can reach the psychiatry office at (408) 366-{SNIP}. I spoke with Thomas. Love, Mike
			->	2015-12-31 16:43:28	She kept yelling mom mom mom over and over at 5 am I went into her room she wasn't make sense so I called the ambulance they took her and said there wasn
			->	2015-12-31 16:43:29	't anything they found to be wrong. She has been particularly clingy to me doing childish things to get my attention... It's really taking its toll, and
			->	2015-12-31 16:43:30	I believe it's time she has a higher level of care
			<-	2015-12-31 16:51:27			I agree. I don't think we can wait until April to move her. The councilors at Kaiser are looking into housing options. I spoke with Dino. He can be reached at (408) 59{SNIP}.
			<-	2015-12-31 16:52:12			I can also fly out if I can be of some help. Love, Mike
			->	2015-12-31 16:52:16	Yes they are actually calling me shortly to discuss pricing and placement
			->	2015-12-31 16:53:18	I'm just worried about the possibility of spending near 10,000.00 a month in rent between this expensive house and her place
			<-	2015-12-31 16:56:00			Didn't you already pay a year in advance?
			->	2015-12-31 16:57:00	No remember we only did 6 mo in advance. We've been paying since sept.
			<-	2015-12-31 16:57:14			Perhaps the councilors can find somewhere for her outside of San Jose, like Gilroy.
			->	2015-12-31 16:57:48	Yes I will wait to talk with them before I start freaking out lol just kidding I'll be fine
			->	2015-12-31 16:58:03	I'm rolling with the punches and taking it day by day
			<-	2015-12-31 17:00:40			You should talk to your landlord as soon as you can to discuss your options. You may not get your security deposit back.
			->	2015-12-31 17:05:44	I'll keep you posted
			<-	2015-12-31 17:06:54			Thank you. Love, Mike
			->	2015-12-31 17:13:33	Thank you too. Love, Sonya
			->	2016-01-01 12:56:50	Happy New Michael and Mari! We love you both! Update on mom She is in a boarding home with a nurse on site to accommodate her insulin needs. The woma
			->	2016-01-01 12:56:51	n who is in charge is Rose and she is very sweet and has really taken a liking to mom. Mom seems to be very happy as well. So I am happy and relieved al
			->	2016-01-01 12:56:52	l went well. Great start to the new year for us all. The rent is also cheaper than the standard nursing homes because it is a private boarding home. It
			->	2016-01-01 12:56:53	is 3,300.00 I will send the number and address later today.
			<-	2016-01-03 16:52:17			Thank you for the update. I'm glad you and mom are happy with it. Love, Mike
			->	2016-01-03 16:53:11	Your welcome and I was wondering if you'd consider helping on her rent like half of it
			->	2016-01-04 18:22:20	Here is her new address: 558 papac way, San Jose, ca 95117
			->	2016-01-04 18:23:35	408-243-4SNIP is her number
			<-	2016-01-04 21:05:27			I would love to help but that would be more than half my pay and more than one of mortgage payments. Love, Mike
			->	2016-01-04 21:28:10	Ok I understand and anything would help, I'm looking into medical for her if she qualifies the place where she is could be potentially paid for
			<-	2016-01-04 21:30:23			Great. Keep me updated. We can discuss how much I might be able to contribute. Love, Mike
			->	2016-01-04 21:30:53	Thank you
			<-	2016-01-06 12:34:43			Just got a call from Rebecca, a social worker from the county who wants to talk to mom. She can reached at (408) 755-7SNIP
			<-	2016-01-11 21:04:56			How are you doing? What is it like not having mom in the house?
			->	2016-01-13 13:49:30	Hi it's been fine I actually took advantage of my week with no one to care for and took a fight to Hawaii where I came to my friends house where I am sta
			->	2016-01-13 13:49:31	ying I'll be returning on Saturday.. This trip has cost in total 600.00
			->	2016-01-13 13:49:43	Free food and lodging ..
			<-	2016-01-13 15:21:16			That's great. You really deserve that rest and relaxation. Have a great time. Love , Mike
			->	2016-01-13 15:55:09	Thanks so much! I said wait a minute N Kim and Mike1 are going to dads.... Mom's in her new place... Kays back at school...??!? You mean I will be by m
			->	2016-01-13 15:55:10	yself for a whole week??!!? I had to seize the moment!
			->	2016-01-19 22:57:39	Hi mike I'm home and went to visit mom and she's crying that she's miserable there... And wants to come home I think .. But where she is is affordable an
			->	2016-01-19 22:57:40	d the woman is very nice... Mom is complaining of being bored and neglected.. Same thing she complained of at home with us
			->	2016-01-19 22:58:10	I believe it's not the people and the places... It's her situation, she's unhappy with.
			->	2016-01-19 23:01:41	She being very difficult causing commotions and stirring up stuff... Crying for attention like a child.. She acts as if she's got some medical problem an
			->	2016-01-19 23:01:42	d goes to ER and nothing is wrong.. It's more her mental state. She complains of being abused as in neglect not physical, but it's simply not true.. And
			->	2016-01-19 23:01:43	now she regrets going to this new place.. I just am not able to care for her... So I believe she should stay where she is
			->	2016-01-19 23:02:22	Anyway let's talk when your free Gd nite Love Sonya
			<-	2016-01-22 21:01:50			Hi Sonya. Thank you for the update. I'll call you tomorrow. We 'll be home waiting out the snow storm. Love, Mike
			<-	2016-01-27 22:42:40			Hi Sonya. Would tomorrow night be a good time to call? Love, Mike

January 2016- Sonya goes to Hawaii with Carol's money!

Sonya, the POA for Carol, her adoptive mother, took a little trip to the island state of Hawaii in January 2016. 

Why not? 

Carol was either in the hospital or rotting in Kirkwood Villa, which I called old people prison. Apparently Sonya's two minor children were with their biological father, maybe. We have no clue, because that situation is so messed up, I don't even want to bother. Maybe she went with her loser boyfriend, maybe not, I don't know. When you're 3000 miles away and the family member in question only calls to yell at you, and lie to you (didn't find that out until later) you really don't know what is actually going on. So, Sonya took a little vacation, but she did not take a vacation from financially abusing her mother.

 

 I'll take a guess that the January 12th Hawaiian Ticket is a luggage fee, I have no idea. But I did notice 3375 Koapaka Street appears again on January 13th, but instead of saying San Jose it is for Honolulu, HI. I should note that Carol did not go to Hawaii. Anyway, maybe Sonya might have realized there would be a paper trail or she didn't want to use Carol's debit card in Hawaii, so on the 13th she took out $1000 of spending money at 200 Hamakua Drive, in Hawaii. Clever, we'll never catch on.

 

From what I can tell she was still in Hawaii on the 18th, maybe. On the 16th she spent $44.64 at Pho My. Who makes up these restaurant names? What did she run out of the $1000 she withdrew on the 13th? Considering Sonya's spending habits, that could be a possibility. On the 18th there is that Hawaiian Ticket, this time for $60, and Lahaina Chicken for $18.51 This is followed by an iTunes charge. Gotta have some tunes or a cool app for the plane ride back to San Jose, CA and stealing more of your mother's money.

January 2016- Carol's Money, Sonya's spending.

As the person with Power of Attorney (POA) Sonya was supposed to administer her mother Carol's funds for the care of Carol. Instead, Sonya squandered her mother's retirement funds, which ultimately left Carol alone and destitute. Sonya and Carol lived together from April to December 2015 and from the start Sonya began spending her mother's money as if it were her own, and as if it were lottery winnings. 
I have documented what happened with Carol's account in 2015 to show how her pension and retirement funds were taken and spent. I also pointed out charges to debit card associated with the account that were obviously not for the care and well being of Carol. I can almost hear Sonya's excuses that she contributed to the account, that she gave up her career, and that it was really her account. Yes, Sonya contributed but her contributions were token amounts. It was akin to going out to eat where Carol paid for the meal and Sonya covered the tip. The career Sonya gave up was going from chair to chair as a cosmetologist. According to her brother, he doesn't think Sonya has worked at any one salon for longer than a year. She proposed opening up her own shop, with her mother's money of course. Considering Sonya's instability, that probably would have failed.
The year 2016 brings something new. Because they were living together in 2015, one could claim that most of the spending was for the benefit of Carol. In 2016 there can be no such claims. At the end of December 2015 Carol was in the hospital and then Kaiser put her in the cheapest elderly housing for someone in Carol's condition, Kirkwood Villa, at $3300 a month. So almost all the spending seen below is Sonya spending away her mother's retirement fund and making Carol destitute.
Click on the images below to get a better view of the bank statement. I will have another post to discuss specific egregious charges.

Dec2015-January 2016- Take the party to a new room, same venue

It's the end of December 2015. Carol, the mother/elder care victim, has run away from her abusive daughter Sonya, but the abuse goes on. We see in the image that Sonya has transferred $68,166.79 from one account into another, new account on the 28th. I do believe at this time Carol was in a Kaiser Hospital. So in some way this acknowledges a change. But in other ways Sonya just keeps spending her mother's retirement fund like it is her own personal piggy bank. She took $93.86 from a small account and put the money in this new account. As well as $25 from another tiny savings account. 
It should be safe to say, the $663.98 of withdrawals, is spending Sonya did for Sonya, with Carol's money.